Going. The gift to "go" is an amazing portion of grace indeed.
Since my first mission trip to the Philippines on 2004, I've had the "go bug". I remember hearing from so many people returning from missions trips that their "lives had been changed". Yet, at the same time the "life change" often seemed short-lived. It was more of a shot in the spiritual arm by way of serving in a so called third-world country. A month or two after returning, life in Silicon Valley simply overruns the best intentions to hold onto the serving experience.
The everyday hustle and bustle of the most expensive, innovative and perhaps most influential region in the United States slowly(or quickly) creeps up and snuffs-out…or at best, tames the passion, burden and "life change" the "goer" had acquired while pouring their heart and life out into people who are often among the poorest of the poor.
As I mentioned above, the opportunity to "go"…to be allowed to go, is a gift of God's grace. It is he who opens the doors to go. It is he who allows funds to arrive. It is he who allows connections to be made. And it is he who awakens a heart to the needs of other.
So, grace allows.
I remember vividly my prayer before I left on that trip in 2004: "Lord, please allow this trip to truly be a life-changer for me. Spark something new in my heart. Don't let the fire fad a month or two after I return home.
Well…God answered that prayer. He jacked me up. That trip was one of several experiences that Jesus used to transform my heart, my desires and my motives. That first trip to the Philippines was a gift from a gracious, benevolent God who loved me enough to answer my prayer to light a new fire in my soul.
The very fact that the passion and vision from that trip did not fizzle out within 30 - 60 days is a gift in it's own right. Add to that, the fact that God did not only create a permanent change in me, but continues, to this day, to open doors for me to serve overseas (which, by the way, has become a catalyst for my serving locally as well. See A Counter Intuitive Mantra).
In His grace, Jesus transformed my heart. He gave me new desires. Desires to serve the people of God. Desires to love and reach those who are far from him. Jesus, in his loving grace, created in me a compassionate heart. A heart that desires to see others know this same love I've received from the Author of life. A heart that yearns to not only know Him and experience his grace and love more deeply, but a heart that is compelled by it's receiving of grace to go and introduce others to the Giver of grace.
So, grace compels.
I've shared more than once that I almost feel guilty in going because I experience so much joy not only in "going", but in the planning and team building time leading up to the actual trip. One of the best parts of leading a team is watching what God does in the hearts and lives of those who "go". Going is an amazing privilege and brings with it an ongoing anticipation of the next trip. These days, upon my return from Ethiopia with Compassion International, I find myself planning the next year's trip…often before I step off of the plane back in the states. I really cannot believe God allows me to do this.
Grace allows me to go.
I am insecure. I constantly doubt not only my ability to effectively serve in a third world country, but I doubt my ability to lead a team. I know what a messed up human being I am…how I so often don't walk in a manner that reflects the One I call Lord. This is not my beating myself up - It is just a reality. The closer I grow in relationship with Jesus, the more I see my own sin and failure to live righteously… As I experience His love for me, and further recognize the grace He lavishes over me, I fall deeper in love with Jesus and find I speak of His goodness more often.
Grace compels me to tell.
I stare at my past failures and allow them to haunt me. Even as miraculous doors open up in front of me, there are more times than I care to admit that I doubt God's goodness and love for me. I often find I'm afraid to step out because my heart has been broken while serving God's people. I've become disillusioned. Cynical. Yes…cynical. Life and ministry have left some scars on this guy. Then, I beat myself up for writing this because I may sound like I am whining. I become worried about what others think of me. I desire rest in Christ…to revel in His grace...to have others see Him in me. But regularly, I fail…big time. Yet, he still sends me…and I get the privilege of share Him with others.
Grace.
Serving overseas is one thing, but being able to sponsor a child through Compassion International…writing letters back and forth, watching them thrive and grow over the years…being able to visit and hold that child…THIS is a whole other level of experiencing the grace of God while serving! How many people EVER get to help save the life of a child…let alone, get to meet, hug and pray with that child who lives 8,000 miles away?
To experience having your sponsored child's mother hand you a letter written in the most beautiful broken English…pouring her heart out as to how her little girl's life has been radically changed because of sponsorship. Grace. Grace to experience this. Grace to see Jesus at work. Read a portion of that letter and the accompanying art from my little girl Ydidiya, here: Insights from the Mother of a Sponsored Child.
This is ridiculous grace! It is a priceless gift. The depth of joy that is experienced(by both parties) is indescribable. It is God's grace. It is Him orchestrating circumstances that bring an abundance of joy to those he sends and those he joins together. It is a loving Heavenly Father rejoicing over His children who so often take his blessings for granted.
Grace.
In his amazing book on grace, ONE WAY LOVE, Tullian Tchividjian writes:
"The wonderful truth is that Jesus doesn't need perfect vessels to accomplish his will. He needs broken ones - men and women who have been slain, humiliated, disillusioned of all their 'I can do it, really I can!' 'This time I'll try harder!' 'Just give me a little more time…' self-deception."
"What qualifies us for service is God's devotion to us - not our devotion to Him. This is as plainly as I can say it: the value of our lives rests on God's infinite, incomprehensible, unconditional love for us - not our love for Him."
From a loving Father's heart, and by way of His grace, choses…allows us to go and serve others.
Also, as recipients of His grace, we are compelled not only to go, but to share this same grace with a hurting, cynical, beat up world that so desperately needs the hope of the Gospel.
In Ephesians 3:14-19, scripture tells us of a love so extravagant that we cannot, in our own power, comprehend it.
We are deeply loved by God. In that love, by His grace he pursues us, captivates our hearts and sends us. His love is the inexhaustible well from which His lavish grace springs forth.
No comments:
Post a Comment